Cookreviews.com

Cooking is buckets of fun. Every single night, 365 days a year, I revel in menu planning, prep work, and use various gadgets to cook a balanced meal for my family. Then, I supervise the clean up. What’s not to love about food service? At-home chefs like me develop strategies to enhance the thrill of residential chef slavery. Over the years, I have learned some brilliant tricks of the “trade” and I am going to share them with you.

 

There is only one way to avoid crying while chopping onions. Wear a snorkel mask. Failure to poke enough holes in potatoes before you bake them equals an inevitable potato bomb that will blast the oven door straight off its hinges and rain potato shrapnel six feet in front of it.Putting bread dough in a blender for kneading assistance is hella stupid.Refuse to try recipes with more than 4 ingredients. Recipes with 35 ingredients are for idiots with no life. Five years ago, I made complicated zucchini boats that took over an hour to make, tasted like nightmare baby food, and I’m still bitter about it.Adding way too much batter to a waffle iron makes it clamp down permanently. Then catch on fire.   Shrimp is easy to overcook but if you like fish flavored jujubes, go ahead and eat it anyway.Do not make guacamole, cut and handle jalapeno peppers, and then go put your contact lenses in your eyeballs. Not ever.Experts advise that involving children in the cooking process is a great idea. No thanks. I’ll just throw a half a bag of flour onto the counter and grind a cup of chunky peanut butter into the wood floor with my shoe and call it a day.  Scone recipes in the wrong hands produce breakfast rocks with raisins.On the Martha Stewart “Fancy Chocolate Bowl” show, Martha demonstrated how to melt chocolate, swirl the bottom of a small inflated party balloon into the mixture, then put it in the freezer to...

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